• Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin

The Journey Into Loneliness


Loneliness is a vast and expansive space where one can get lost in the deafening silence because one is faced by nobody, and has nobody on their side. However, this deafening silence often times is not able to drown out the sounds of the inner turmoil. Turmoil that is governed by voices of self-doubt, self-loathing and self-pity.


When no one is by your side, often times it feels pointless to do anything, or to be anything. We hear the turmoil tormenting us, and we learn to tell ourselves that we aren't good enough, or that we can't be loved, or that we aren't worth it, or that we shouldn't exist and all sorts of aren'ts, shouldn'ts and can'ts.


And in time, we, as social animals, build mechanisms of dependence on other humans to fend off these voices; essentially not allowing ourselves to revel in Loneliness. We get scared of being lonely. All stories that we know of tell us we need friends in our lives. Companions of the heroes in these tales lead them, guide them, cheer them and support them to reach their ultimate goal in the story. And here in the real world, when there aren't any companions physically present, we feel that void, that loneliness and that disappointment.


But we don't realize the power of being alone. Unless you listen carefully in that deafening silence. We drown it by bringing our friends along the way. But they can only lead us to a certain point or guide us a certain way, and yet, in the end, it is you who takes that step to do something, no matter what. Your friends cannot choose for you. Your friends aren't you.


They are a great support system, but even then, we at the very end have to do things on our own. And that’s why we must listen. Listen. Breathe. Listen. Breathe. Listen to the Loneliness.


Breathe. Listen.


The idea is not to disown friendships. But know that unless we believe in ourselves, we won't be able to bring the best that we can be. Our friends can give us that boost, provide us that launch pad, but we won't be able to reach that target the best way possible without belief in ourselves.


It would be unfair to lean on our friends completely as a crutch. Even if they love you so much. It’s a give and take relationship. They support you, and you must support in whatever way you can too. So, when their push becomes a shove, that’s when we plunge into Loneliness.


In that moment of loneliness, breathe. And listen. Listen…


Listen carefully to that squeak. Hidden under the layers of Turmoil, is a little squeak; it could sound like a child or a wise old person, but it will sound familiar. It will sound distant, but unless you listen closely, carefully, you’ll notice that the squeak becomes a roar. And then you connect. With. Yourself. In that moment in Loneliness, when you connect with that voice, you will be able to control the Turmoil. Suddenly, that control of Turmoil, brings Nothingness. A moment of clarity. Grasp it.


And listen. To that voice. Because that voice is your own voice of reason, that has heard all what your friends, companions, teachers and guides have said to you when you wanted to drown out the Turmoil. That voice is your call to action. That voice is You.


That voice is your soul communicating to you, telling you what to do, taking the reigns and helping you transcend to a newer chapter of your life. You begin to beat that Turmoil, and in that moment, your voice is everything.


So, just breathe and listen. In that chaos of the Turmoil, there is that sound calling out to you. And once that Turmoil has settled when you become one with your voice of reason, you will be able to see through many things. Clarity will be with you. It is then when you can look towards the future and ask yourself, "What's next?" Breathe.


You're going to be just fine.

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